The Dark Side of Ambition

Eventually, James gently withdrew from Andrew’s body and rolled to the side. Andrew whimpered at the loss and turned his face into the soft warmth of Teddy’s stomach, clinging to him like a drowning man to a lifeline, completely insensible to the soft voices that soothed him or the gentle hands that continued to worship him.   Time blurred and the room faded in and out of focus as he drifted, sleep beckoning him sweetly with every breath Teddy took, the rise and fall of his chest gently rocking him into sweet oblivion. Andrew was fairly sure that he was crushing Teddy; he was still splayed on his stomach and laying half on top of the poor man. But he heard no complaints, and was too sated to move and too exhausted to care anyway. He could hear Jamie padding about the room barefoot, followed by a soft splash as water filled the basin. A short while later the cool touch of a damp cloth drew a sigh from his lips as James bathed the stickiness from his body with reverential care. He hissed and tried to jerk away when a careful hand removed the ring from his softened genitals, but he held still as his friends quieted him with whispered words of reassurance and love. A soft click echoed through the still air when James returned Teddy’s gifts to their box and put it away. 

He felt the mattress shift beneath him as James finally returned, settling close to them with a soft flump and a tired sigh. He wrapped a possessive arm around Andrew’s waist as he twined their legs together.  Loving hands and soft lips continued to caress him as his heartbeat slowed and his breathing became deep and even.   He could feel Jamie’s warm breath against his cheek and the tenderness in those green eyes as they watched him. Gentle fingers brushed the damp hair from his forehead, and soon their touch was replaced by smiling lips pressing reverent kisses to his closed eyelids.  They reluctantly fluttered open and he slowly blinked James and his smiling eyes into focus.

“Hi,” James whispered, their lips meeting in a soft caress as he cupped Andrew’s neck with one large hand, his thumb idly drawing circles on his lover’s freckled cheek. “Still with us, love?”

“Always,” Andrew murmured sleepily, kissing the pad of Jamie’s thumb as it outlined the bow of his lips. A stray lock of dark hair fell across Jamie’s eyes; he wanted to reach up and tuck it behind his ear, but he couldn’t will his heavy limbs to move. Teddy seemed to read his mind and reached over to brush back the damp tangle. James gave Teddy a soft smile as he leaned into the touch and pressed a kiss to his palm. Teddy cupped Jamie’s lightly stubbled jaw and drew him down so that their lips met in a slow, tender kiss. Warmth flooded Andrew at the sight; there was a rare and beautiful aura of peace surrounding his friends that was more precious to him than anything in the world. Seeing them both so content, and sharing in their happiness, was the best birthday present he could have ever hoped to receive.

Andrew was unsure of how long he laid there, dozing in the cocoon of their warm embrace, lulled by a tranquil silence that was only broken by the soft sound of breathing and the crickets chirping in the garden below. Teddy was the first to stir as he tried to shift from beneath Andrew’s heavy weight. He lightly scratched his fingers over Andrew’s scalp, which only made him purr with contentment.

“Drew?” he called softly, now lightly running his fingers up and down his spine.

“Mmmph?” Andrew grunted, a petulant frown wrinkling his smooth brow. He refused to open his eyes, so he missed the stupid, adoring grin James was giving him. Jamie clearly thought that sleepy Andrew was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen; Teddy agreed with him, but his admiration was hampered by his increasing inability to breath.

“Drew, do you mind?” he murmured, gently pushing at his friend’s broad shoulders. “I love you, but I can’t feel anything below my waist.”  He tried to wiggle out from beneath him, but Andrew refused to budge. He turned to Norrington with an exasperated sigh. “A little help might be nice,” he griped, giving up his struggle with a resigned huff.

“Sorry,” James replied sheepishly, leaning forward to give Andrew another kiss. “Wake up, love. Teddy can’t feel his legs.”

“Amongst other vital appendages,” Teddy grumbled through gritted teeth. When Gillette still refused to respond, Groves decided that desperate measures were called for. He gave James a conspiratorial wink then gave Andrew’s arse a hard, twisting pinch.

“Ouch! Jesus fucking Christ!” he yelped, jerking upright immediately, wide awake and furious. James and Teddy laughed uproariously when he reached back to rub his poor, abused backside. Drew narrowed his eyes at Teddy, who was pulling himself into a sitting position. “Bastard!” he growled, giving his friend a playful shove that sent him tumbling back into the pillows. “What did you do that for?”

“To get you off of me, you ton of lead!” Teddy replied, sitting again and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He visibly shivered when his feet touched the cold floor. “Go lay on top of Jamie if you must. It’s his turn to be your pillow.”

“Fine,” Andrew countered childishly. “Maybe I will. He makes a better pillow than you, anyway,” he called to Teddy’s retreating back as he padded over to the washstand. “Bony arse.”

“Yes well, we can’t all have Jamie’s sweet tooth,” Teddy teased over his shoulder as he reached for the ewer of fresh water and poured himself a glass.

“Oi!” James yelped, his expression of amusement fading to an affronted frown. He had been lying on his side, and now propped himself up on one elbow to glare at Teddy. “What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Teddy quickly replied as he dipped a clean washcloth into the basin and rang it out. The cold water was refreshing compared to the sticky heat of his skin.  “Only that perhaps in future it would be wise to lay off the late-night, post-coital snacking. Oi!” Teddy cried as a pillow hit him square In the back of the head, making him drop the cloth back into the basin. He spun on his heel to yell at James, only to find that Andrew was the culprit.

“Defending Jamie’s honor, are you?” Teddy smirked; he raised an eyebrow at Andrew as he tossed back the pillow then retrieved the cloth from the basin.

“What honor? That was for waking me up.” There was a strangled cry and shouts of laughter as James pounced and wrestled Andrew back down to the mattress. By the time Teddy was through washing up they were sprawled in the middle of the bed, both still laughing as they panted for breath. Jamie was on his back, pinioned by the arm Andrew had thrown over his chest and the leg that was hitched possessively over his hips. Teddy watched as Andrew leaned down, still chuckling as he gave James a kiss of apology before laying his head over his heart. Groves smiled at them fondly and shook his head. There no need for Drew to keep Jamie pinned down – it was clear to Teddy that the man was right where he wanted to be.

 He gave his friends a moment to themselves, idly sipping at his glass of water as he observed them. As he saw the loving looks on their faces, an accusing little voice in the back of his mind awoke to viciously remind him that he was intruding. No matter how many times they denied it, that niggling doubt always resurfaced at moments like these, when they seemed so happy together. They didn’t need him, not really. James and Andrew could be happy without him, but he could not be happy without them. He averted his gaze as he crossed to the bed, his half-empty glass still in hand. He wondered if he should make his excuses and leave them, even though the thought of returning alone to his empty rooms in town made his heart clench miserably.

Teddy fidgeted with the glass and told himself that it must have been the cold water from the basin that had made his hands start to tremble so. He looked down at the floor and wondered if those were his breeches or Jamie’s that were lying at his feet, and then he puzzled over the location of his shirt. Leaving was the last thing he wanted to do, but every second he stayed he grew more hopelessly attached to them, and every other second brought the chance that they might have a change of heart and ask him to go. And he didn’t think he could bear it if that happened. If he was going to go, he would rather leave on his own terms. It was now or never. Teddy squared his shoulders and cleared his throat as he set the glass aside on the nightstand. He could feel their eyes on the side of his face, and he bent to retrieve the breeches so he didn’t have to meet them.

“I should probably –” A hand on his arm stilled him, and the words died in his throat.  

“Stay,” James finished for him, his hand sliding down Teddy’s arm until it lightly circled his wrist. “You should stay.”

It wasn’t a demand or a request, just a statement, simple yet sincere. Though his clothes had been tossed aside hours ago, it was Jamie’s quiet look of understanding that made him feel naked.  Groves suddenly felt very exposed, as though those green eyes could see into his soul. When he looked to Andrew for his blessing he was answered by a lovingly exasperated eye roll. Teddy swallowed hard and nodded silently, his throat too tight to speak, secure in the knowledge that they weren’t going to change their minds – not tonight, at least. James beckoned him back to bed with a gentle tug and Teddy crawled in beside him as James looped an arm around his shoulders and tucked him protectively against his side.  Teddy rested his head on Jamie’s right shoulder and looked across at Drew, who lifted his head from its resting place over Jamie’s heart and leaned in for a kiss. He could still taste himself on Andrew’s lips and he felt his own curving into a rueful smile.

“I’m sorry I pinched you,” Teddy mumbled, draping an arm over Jamie’s waist and linking his fingers with Andrew’s.

“No you’re not,” Andrew smiled, rubbing a foot up and down Teddy’s calf. “I’m sorry I said you have a bony arse.”

“You are both terrible liars,” James scoffed, smiling as he pressed a kiss into Teddy’s hair. “Terrible, clingy liars. I feel like I’m being attacked by an octopus.”

Andrew tightened his hold and playfully nipped at one of Jamie’s nipples. “Are you complaining, sir?”

“No,” James sighed, his head falling back onto his pillow as Teddy latched on to the other one. “Carry on, gentleman.”

A laugh rumbled deep in Teddy’s chest. “You’re insatiable. And you,” Teddy chuckled, pointing a finger in Andrew’s face. “You are impossible. Would you kindly stop that, it tickles!” He squirmed as he tried to jerk his leg away from Andrew’s wandering foot.

            “No, I don’t think I will,” Andrew countered, running light fingers over the ticklish place on Teddy’s hip. “Not until you tell me where you got my present. I asked you before and you kept avoiding the question.”

            “Jamie, make him stop!” Teddy whined, laughing helplessly as he attempted to bat away Andrew’s hand and squirm away from his foot.

            “Actually, I’m rather curious about that myself,” James mused thoughtfully, holding Groves in place as he joined in the attack, tickling the small of his back. “The last time I checked, jade dildos and cock rings were not items commonly stocked in Port Royal shops. And I also happen to know your wages – fine jade and craftsmanship like that would cost a pretty penny, one would imagine.”

            “Quit it….stop, alright, I surrender!” Teddy gasped, unable to escape their two-pronged tickle assault. When they finally ceased and he had caught his breath, Teddy propped himself up on one elbow to looked down into expectant faces. “Fine,” he huffed, running a hand through his loose curls. “If you must know…I won that box and its contents in a game of cards.”

            James and Andrew stared at him in open disbelief then gaped at one another, both rendered momentarily speechless by his unexpected revelation. Andrew was the first to recover. He too propped himself up on an elbow, looking both adorably bewildered and vaguely horrified. 

“Who in bloody hell have you been playing cards with?” he yelped, his voice uncharacteristically high.

            “Oh, some unfortunate fellow that was just passing though,” Teddy replied breezily, lazily drumming his fingers on Norrington’s flat stomach. “Byrd, I believe his name was? Something like that. He had been a successful merchant captain, at one time. Sad story, that. He had those items made as a gift for his wife while on a voyage to Canton – something to keep her cold nights a bit warmer while he was at sea, if you get my drift.   Then he returned home, only to find that she hadn’t been so lonely, after all,” Teddy explained with a lewd quirk of his brows. “He came out here after he lost  his ship and almost everything in bad investments, and he was in the process of gambling away the rest. That,” Teddy said, pointing to the wooden box on the nightstand, “was one of the last things of value the poor sod had left. Quality jade, but he couldn’t exactly sell something like that just anywhere.”

            “And you felt no qualms taking it from him?” James asked, one arm still looped around Andrew and the other pillowed behind his head. He watched Groves closely with shrewdly narrowed eyes as he played with Andrew’s hair.  

            “The man was a degenerate gambler,” Teddy scoffed disdainfully. James lifted one skeptically arched brow and gave the fingers Groves continued to tap on his stomach a significant glance. Teddy stopped immediately and curled his hand into a loose first. “Someone was going to profit from his folly; I figured it might as well be me. And by me, I mean us,” he quipped, throwing a broad wink at James before turning to smirk at Andrew.

            Andrew snorted indelicately. “Profited at my expense, you teasing bastards,” he grumbled, but the content smile lingering at the corners of his mouth contradicted his complaint. “Honestly Teddy, only you could win an exotic sex toy in a card game, look at it, and think ‘birthday present!’”

            “It’s the gift that keeps on giving!” Teddy argued. “And don’t pretend that you didn’t enjoy every minute of it,” he smirked, playfully patting the curve of Andrew’s arse.

            “Yes, well…” Andrew started, but broke off in a wide yawn. Teddy swore he heard his jaw pop in protest.   Gillette rubbed his tired eyes and returned his head to its favored resting place on Jamie’s chest. “We’ll see if I still feel that way in the morning when I’m too sore to sit and Ben has to serve my breakfast off the mantle.”

Andrew was just drowsy enough to accept that story, but James didn’t quite buy it. Teddy was a better liar than Andrew, but he still had his tells. The restlessly tapping fingers were the most obvious clue. Someone with more expertise in the art of deception might also have noticed the brisk, clipped modulation of his voice, as though he had practiced the story many times beforehand. He had obviously spent time crafting his falsehood. The story itself was plausible, and the details were simple enough that he wouldn’t forget or confuse them. All of that added up to Teddy being nervous, which meant that he had probably done something – or someone – that he knew Andrew wouldn’t approve of. Teddy had little shame, but James knew how dearly he valued Andrew’s good opinion of him. This brought James back to the poor, unfortunate stranger with whom Teddy had played cards.

“Captain Byrd, you say?” James asked in a deceptively casual tone. The corners of his mouth twitched when he saw Teddy’s eyes widen marginally in panic. “I think I know a fellow by that name.”

“Mr. Byrd,” Teddy corrected, attempting to keep his tone as bland as possible. He should have known Jamie would catch on. He could only hope that the blasted man would play along. “Weren’t you listening? He was no longer a Captain, and least not by your definition – no ship.”

“Ah, well I suppose it can’t be the same Byrd, then. The man I know is most definitely a Captain, as he frequently insists on reminding me.” James yawned and stretched with catlike grace.  Green eyes twinkled mischievously beneath half-mast lids as Andrew curled around his side again, already half-asleep and oblivious to their banter. James pressed a kiss into his ginger hair and stared at Teddy from beneath long, dark lashes. “I must say, I’m rather disappointed, Mr. Groves. That story wasn’t half as scandalous as I expected.”

Teddy heard his message loud and clear; James wouldn’t say a word to Andrew, but he fully expected to hear all of the juicy details later in exchange for his silence. That seemed fair enough, so Teddy leaned down to seal their silent accord with a kiss. He swiped his tongue across whisky flavored lips and tugged on the lower one with his teeth. “Not every story can end in a drunken orgy, James. Though while we’re on the subject, remind me to tell you about that time in Barbados when I took Drew to a molly house – ”

“Teddy!” Andrew exclaimed, his droopy eyes snapping open instantly. “I really don’t think he needs to know about that!”

“Oh I really think I do,” James argued, nodding his head eagerly. His face was alight with unholy glee as Andrew blushed to the tips of his ears. “Oh come on! You can’t hint at something that tantalizing then not follow –mmmmph!” The rest of his words were muffled by the hand Andrew slapped over his mouth to silence him. He licked Andrew’s palm in retaliation and grinned when he elicited a shiver.

“You really don’t want to do that, Teddy,” Andrew warned. “Do it and I swear I’ll tell him all about Boston. Won’t that make for an interesting bedtime story?” Teddy’s face blanched as the laughter died on his lips, and Andrew smirked in triumph. 

James’s curiosity was palpable as his confused eyes darted between them. He removed Andrew’s hand from over his mouth and pushed himself up on his elbows, rudely dislodging them both from his chest in the process. “Never again am I letting you two out of my sight without supervision,” he declared peevishly. 

“Says the man who lost his virginity at the Eight Belles,” Teddy laughed, as with Andrew’s help he managed to pin him down again. Andrew froze and Jamie’s mouth fell open in shock. Teddy smiled inwardly; it wasn’t every day that someone managed to catch James Norrington that off guard. “And nearly got his throat cut in the process, or so I’m told.”

“I….but…how…who?” James stammered. The Eight Belles was one of Port Royal’s oldest and most notorious brothels – a veritable den of iniquity on par with anything Tortuga had to offer. When he had served aboard the Fury, Captain Donovan had strictly forbidden his officers from entering the premises. No respectable young gentleman would ever set foot in such an infamous place – unless of course his fellow midshipman dared him to do it. Then it became a matter of honor. His ending question had been rhetorical, of course.   There was only one way Groves could know about what happened that long ago night at the Eight Belles, because there was only one man other than himself who was privy to that information. James groaned and let his head fall back onto his pillow. 

“I’m going to kill him,” he swore flatly, staring blankly at the tester above. “I am going to take his wooden leg, and I am going to beat him to death with it.”

“You can’t kill Ben; if you beat him to death, who will make your coffee?” Teddy reasoned with a yawn. He retrieved the soft, blue blanket that had been kicked to the foot of the bed and pulled it up over them before settling himself with an arm draped possessively across his friend’s hips. He kissed the old bullet scar on Norrington’s right shoulder before laying his head atop it. “Besides, you’re overreacting. It’s not that bad.”

“What’s not that bad? How is it that I am the only one who doesn’t know this story?” Andrew finally asked, giving James a hard poke in the chest. “Go on then, let’s hear it. I want to know about your youthful indiscretions, too.”

“If you think it’s not that bad, then Ben probably didn’t tell you the whole, tawdry tale. And no, I’m not going to, either. I am far too sober to tell that story right now.” James closed his eyes and swore vengeance on his steward. Ben Yates would rue the day he opened his big gob to Teddy. One way or another, he would have his revenge. “You’ll have to get me drunk first. Really, really drunk. As in, my liver is weeping in despair, drunk.”

“That can be arranged.” Andrew moved to get out of bed, but James grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back down on top of him.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he growled, pulling Andrew close. “We are not leaving this bed until morning, Mr. Gillette. And maybe not even then – being Commodore has its perks, and sleeping in is one of them. So that story will just have to wait for another day.”

“Is that a promise?” he whispered against Norrington’s lips. Andrew brushed a tangle of hair out of his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. 

James gave him a shrewd, measuring sort of look. “Well, I’ll require something in exchange. I’ll tell you about my misadventure at the Eight Belles if you tell me about the molly house in Barbados…”

“No, I meant…” Andrew hesitated, feeling silly for what he was about to ask. “I meant the part about sleeping in and not leaving the bed until morning. You’ll still be here when I wake up?”

James’s eyes softened as a fond smile tugged at his lips. “I’ll be right here,” he whispered, capturing Andrew’s mouth in a tender kiss. “I promise.”

“Good. I’m holding you to that,” he replied, tightening his hold on Jamie’s waist.

“Quite literally,” Teddy yawned. “It’s not like you could move even if you wanted to, Jamie.”

“I don’t want to move,” James assured them both, kissing the tops of their heads. “I’m quite comfortable right where I am.”

 Andrew breathed a happy sigh. He laid his head on Jamie’s chest and closed his eyes, letting the strong, steady pulse of his lover’s heart lull him into a light doze. “Today was perfect, James. Thank you. Both of you.”

“You’re welcome,” James yawned. “Happy birthday, Andrew.”

“The pleasure was ours, love,” Teddy mumbled indistinctly, his voice slurring as he fell into a deep sleep. “Happy Birthday.”

“I like birthdays. They’re nice,” Andrew sighed several minutes later. A breeze from the window stirred the heavy air, its salty-sweet tang mellowing the musky scent of sex that pervaded the room. Andrew pressed his nose to Jamie’s skin and breathed deeply.  He smelled of sweat and scotch; a faint trace of sandalwood and spice lingered from their bath that morning. “We should have them more often.”

 A deep, quiet chuckle rumbled in Jamie’s chest. Nothing warmed Andrew quite like the sound of his lover’s laughter. It was a rich sound, warm and resonant, almost musical. That morning, when James had reminisced about his mother, he had said that she had a lovely laugh that made anyone who heard it feel happy. Apparently James had inherited more from her than just his green eyes and secretive smile. Not for the first time, Andrew wished that he could have met Emily Norrington, if only to thank her for giving the world such a beautiful man.

“Yes, well I’m afraid that you are only allowed one birthday per anum.” There was a lopsided grin on Norrington’s face as he twisted a strand of soft, ginger hair around his finger then let it slowly unwind. The wash of moonlight that flooded the room turned everything to silver and shadow, but Drew’s fiery hair was like a warm ember burning in the chilly darkness. “Though I agree that we should do this more often.”

“So whose birthday is next, then?” Andrew traced one of Norrington’s scars with a fingertip, a cutlass slash that cut across his ribs. James shivered as he mapped the thin, raised ridge that stood out in silver relief against his pale skin. He pressed his hand flat to the spot, letting his palm rub in small, soothing circles until the brief frisson of tension faded away. “Since you say I can’t have two.”

“You can have mine if you want. I’d much rather celebrate your birthday again than my own,” Jamie replied, his fingers scrawling an invisible love letter across Andrew’s shoulders and down his back. “I wish every day could be like this one. Or that this one would never end.”

“I know, love. I wish that too. There will be other good days, though…maybe a few better ones, even. Teddy’s birthday is at the end of July,” Andrew whispered, gently brushing his fingers over Teddy’s cheek, careful so as not to wake him. James could see the love shining in Andrew’s eyes, and he wished Teddy was awake to see it. “I want him to be happy, James. He deserves to be happy.”

“He is happy,” James softly assured him as he hugged both Teddy and Andrew closer. “If he wasn’t happy, he wouldn’t have stayed.”

“Do you think he even knows how much we love him?” Andrew drew one leg up over Jamie’s hip and curled tighter around him, drawing comfort from his quiet strength.

“He knows.” James whispered, brushing a kiss into Andrew’s hair. “He knows we love him. But he doesn’t seem to realize how much we need him. Just how much of our happiness is dependant on his.”

“So Teddy’s birthday…?” Andrew asked again, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Teddy snuffled in his sleep, and James waited to answer until he had settled. He stroked Teddy’s hair away from his forehead before ghosting a whisper soft kiss to his smooth, untroubled brow. “We’ll think of something, and with any luck we’ll make him as happy as he’s made us. If he can’t see how much he means to us, we’ll just have to go out of our way to show him.”

“And what about your birthday?” Andrew yawned, fighting a losing battle as his heavy eyelids slid shut. 

“My birthday is a long way off yet,” James said evasively. He had never told his friends his birth date because he never chose to celebrate it, and he didn’t want anyone else making a big deal over it. When possible, he ignored it altogether. At least he hadn’t lied – his birthday had been the month before, so his next was eleven months away yet. He hadn’t bothered to tell Andrew at the time.  It wasn’t as though they could have celebrated it on the day itself, anyway; Andrew and his linguistic talents had been sent to Kingston at Admiral Donovan’s request to help translate during his dinner with Admiral Montoya, his Spanish counterpart. James had secretly been relieved by Donovan’s timely intervention. It was selfish, and he knew that Andrew would be upset when he ultimately found out, but that hadn’t mattered at the time. “It’s not important. Go to sleep, love. I’ll be here waiting when you wake.”

“It’s important to me,” Andrew mumbled fervently. “I love you.”

“I know, I love you too,” James whispered, fighting to keep the guilt out of his voice. If any managed to creep in, Andrew didn’t hear it as he joined Teddy in a deep, peaceful slumber. As they slept, James continued to lay awake, watching over them and thinking about his own hypocrisy. It was easy to love Andrew and Teddy; it was harder, learning how to let them love him in return. That morning, he had told Andrew that birthdays were about celebrating love and life, and sharing both with your loved ones. It had meant so much to him – it had made him so happy – giving Andrew this day.  But he had unfairly denied Andrew that same opportunity. 

James had never seen his miserable life as something worth celebrating, but something had changed. His life was no longer miserable, thanks to the two men who were currently using him as a pillow. And his life was now important to him, because it was important to Andrew. He didn’t have it in his heart to deny Andrew anything that would make him happy, and if celebrating James’s birthday would do that, well…so be it.   James hugged them close and finally let his eyes fall closed, but before sleep could claim him, he made a solemn vow. In the morning, when Andrew asked about his birthday (and he would ask, because he was like a dog with a bone when he wanted something), James would tell him the truth.  Then he would let Andrew pick another arbitrary day to celebrate, if that’s what he really wanted to do. The actual date of his birth was inconsequential, because any day spent with Drew and Teddy at his side was a present worth cherishing. Their love was a gift that kept on giving.